Horror Games

Dead Rising 2 (2010) PC Review

Zombies in computer games have got to be one of my favorite things in life, ranking not far behind zombies in cheesy low budget flicks, in the excellence stakes. And Dead Rising 2 promised hundreds of them on screen at once, tonnes of shit to kill them with, and gore aplenty. There is just no way on earth this can be made of fail? Right?.......

It looks and sounds brilliant, there's plenty of gore flying around as you twat a zombie in the face with a sledgehammer, and there're tonnes of humorous moments, like dressing up in womens clothes and poncing around killing the zombies whilst wearing a bikini. Tonnes of zombies close in on you, there are fuckin' loads of the bastards, it's like watching an army of kids queueing for Justin Bieber concert tickets, and despite scores of them on screen at once, the game gave never a stutter or a slowdown.

Scattered around is a veritable arsenal of stuff to pick up and batter the bastards with. Hammers, chairs, handbags, lamps, coathangers, you name it and you can probably pick it up and start battering some undead fecks brains out with it. And you'll be battering a lot, these bastards mob you, you don't just get a handful of the undead, you get an honest to god army of em trying to munch on your brains.

So, it's brilliance and made of zombie win? I wish, it's got so much going for it.

But...all that great stuff I mentioned before this point is for nothing, the gameplay is utter shit and ruins it all. Lowest common denominator console crap, strewn liberally with cut scenes every 5 minutes which, although skippable, are still a pain in the balls. Perhaps I'm missing something, perhaps us PC owners got shafted yet again, but the game seems to be solely pick up item, hit zombie with it, repeat. Or, worse yet, run around scenes where there are no zombies, just looking for something to fuckin' do other than sit in a corner and cry about how you've wasted your hard earned cash on this. It doesn't even pretend to have any finesse, it plays like some crap WWE wrestling game cut scenes from the ps1 days. There's simplicity, which can be good, and moronic, which is seldom good, and this falls squarely into the moronic category.

Some really stupid interface problems add to the wankyness. One that pissed me off no end was the inventory. You pick up food and drink and consuming the same restores some health that those nasty zombies have bitten off of you. Great, excellent, at least so far. You also pick up weapons so that you can batter those biting undead bastards into hell. After so many hits your weapon tends to break, aka just vanish from your hands mid swing. Which is where it gets cack. The next item in your inventory automagically appears in your hands. Which is brilliant. One moment you're swinging an axe at a zombies balls, the next moment you're holding a cream cake and start to eat it, seemingly oblivious to the five thousand zombies closing in. Some coders and playtesters should be fed to the zombies for that decision.

Really, do yourself a favour, have fuck all to do with this. Let some other poor bastard buy it, wait til they post a load of HD videos on youtube, and watch them. That way you'll get to see all the things that make this stand out, without having to actually play the shit. You'll wow at the videos, and be tempted to buy, but resist, you'll thank me for it. It might look great, but once you start playing it, you'll discover that you're really holding a great big squishy turd that has been sprayed with gold paint and studded with fake diamonds. Despite the fancy looks, it still stinks.

System Used : q9550, nvidia gtx 260, 8gb, win7x64. No overclocking, all stock. Performed great, zero problems there, running at 1920x1200 and high settings.

COMMENTS

Posted On

2010-09-27 17:09

Posted By

BadgerblooD

0 DAMNIT.
I really was looking forward to DR2, but I guess I will dodge it. As You wrote already, there isnt much what can go wrong with that setup, but somehow they seem to have managed it. Sounds plain annoying. On the bright side, Your last 2 sentences made laugh, haha! Well done. :)

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