Black Water is a survival story of 3 tourists who venture into the swamplands of Northern Australia expecting to have a good time. Well in good horror movie fashion things turn out rather differently, for a rather nasty and somewhat intelligent crocodile has other plans for the tourists and I’ll bet you can guess what they are…

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Shark Night 3D starts out with a bunch of college kids taking a break up at a remote lake house owned by one of them. They're the usual happy go-lucky, full of the joys of spring kind of teenage/young twenty something kids we usually see in these kind of movies. Would you believe it, it turns out a mass of sharks has found it's way into the lake and the young kids, completely gobsmacked by what's going on have to find a way to get help. That'll prove trickier than they may think however as it's not only the sharks they need to worry about.

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Set deep in the Australian outback, a tourist boat is drawn into sacred ground when it see's a flare being set off in the distance. Once the crew find the source of the flare things get worse as the boat is capsized by a rather big and unfriendly croc. The tourists manage to get to the safety of a local island fine, but it seems there is a snag, the tide is rising and the island will be a goner by nightfall. With the situation in hand, how will the tourists survive the dangers of the outback?

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This film is utter shit.

I am tempted to end the review there, but that would be unfair. Sometimes, rarely, a movie can be such an utter bag of steaming dog shit that it transcends its shiteness and moves into a whole different realm.

Birdemic : Shock and Terror is such a film. Like a 500lb woman masturbating in some grainy home cammed porn, its very awfulness and repugnance to all that is decent compels the onlooker to watch, despite the shame they will feel at their voyeurism of the obscenity before them.

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Frozen places three teenage kids at a snowboarding range somewhere out in the wilderness. They venture up for one last run down the mountain, just before nightfall when the camp is closing down. The workers at the range miscalculate the folks going up and down and leave the poor teenage trio suspended in the open air approx 50 feet above the ground (rough guesstimate on distance there). With the camp shut down for a week the three have to find a way to get free of their situation before the weather kills them off from exposure. There's worse things out there besides the weather though...

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Burning Bright centres around a young woman named Kelly Taylor and her autistic little brother Tom. They've become trapped in their home with a wild and ravenous tiger during a hurricane. What develops over the course of the movie is a game of survival as the two try to evade the tiger and find a way out. Course that's easier said than done.

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